Oh...You're Adopted?

Once upon a time I was subleasing a fabulous apartment in Venice Beach. This two bedroom one bath cosy bungalow, tucked a block away from the main drag in town came with a Roommate. An interesting fella with a random work schedule, random drinking habit and a random set of guest always swinging by...yet kind none the less.

One set of random guest was his father and brother. Much like he, they were nice people, nice people that lived with us for three days.

Day two of their stay Father Roommate decided to whip up a dish in the kitchen, sadly I was on my way out, therefore missing the delicious dish, however I did have time to take part in some light conversation before leaving. So we did.

We chatted about where I was going, what I do, where I'm from....then about what he was cooking, what he does and where he's from. It was around that moment that the Roommate entered the kitchen. He chimed in regarding the 'where's he's from' question and offered a quick tale of growing up there. Then silence hit. In retrospect I should have said a polite 'nice talking to you enjoy your dinner' and moved on, however for some unknown reason I felt the need to indulge in another comment.

"Wow, ya know, you two really look so much alike! Like it's almost crazy how much you both look alike!!!"

Blank stares in return.

Cue Roommate "....Uh...I'm adopted"

"What?! No you're not, look at you two!"

Cue Roommate and Father Roommate "Uh yes"

"Really?...Oh...huh...(awkward smile)....how about that...well I got to get going..."

Looking back, I do (vaguely) remember Roommate telling me he was adopted upon my moving in. Would have been pretty awesome to have remembered that.

Dear College,

To all those professors, advisors, adminstrators and loan granters - I'm requesting a refund. Yup, that's right, a refund.

You see, I spent 5 years (yes 5 and NO I'm not a DR. or Lawyer, just really fun, curious spirit) studying various courses to gain my bachelors degree, and though I live the life of a bachelor...ette... I'm finding very little use of all of those other 'skills' I've learned. I've been in the 'real world' (sans MTV) for over 5 years now and so far have yet to use any of the following:

Chemistry - sorry not really mixing anything besides drinks these days = refund

Interpersonal communications - single, therefore = refund

Writing for the Tech Professional - you mean texting? Okay, I'll let that one slide.

Science Foundations - it'd be one thing if we were talking humans here, but plasma and plankton - really? = refund

Space Law - if I remember correctly this wasn't about 'roommates' sooo = refund

Public Relations - everything I'm learning on Facebook for FREE = refund

Conflict Managment -
Journalism - (again) everything I'm writing on here for FREE = refund

Mathematics Foundations - still paying you for nothing of 'worth' sooo = refund.

Some courses that would have been useful:

Dream Deflation 101 and 201

Traffic flow and diversion

Starbucks 101

Shipping and Receiving

Dealing with douche bags

Emergency Road Care

Dealing with Debt 101, 201, 301, 401, 501

Guest for weddings 101

Where Your Rent Money Goes: Lecture

(...just to name a few)

So, in conclusion - college I demand a refund. I mean sure some experiences I had while there were 'priceless' but really, I can barely remember those. Soooo feel free starting sending the money back, I accepted cashier checks (sorry no personal checks), travelers checks, paypal, money orders and rolls of quarters.

Best Regards,

Jeanine Peters