Today my agent called me in for a commercial audition for a sex toy company, yes a sex toy company. I was asked to audition for the role of the 'Kitty, the Kooky girl that awkwardly hits on the hot guy that rejects her', lucky for me, I have years experience in that field so it was a piece of cake.
Now, after nailing my audition, pun intended, I stopped in to say goodbye to my agent and this is how a polite 'thanks bye!' went down. "Let me look at you?...Hm, yeah, that's it!" Puzzled, I responded with "I'm sorry??" She continued... "You have no chin. In your pictures you have a chin, a pointy little chin that sticks out, but in person you don't. YOU have an OVAL face, a perfectly oval head actually, no chin..." Shocked I responded with (while stroking my jaw line) "Well I have put on a few pounds so maybe..." Agent "Nope, that's not it, your weight, it's your chin, you are oval. It almost looks like you shaved the sides of your hair to make your face look wider. . . . Call me next week so we can set up a time for you to get some new shots that represent what you really look like. Perfectly OVAL face..Oh and those cheekbones 'cheerokee cheekbones' need specific lighting, we'll need to be careful with that."
As if that wasn't lovely enough, after she ceased making remarks said agent leaned back in her chair, pointed, starred and laughed "Ha! You're like my agent just told me I have an oval head! Haha."
She was correct. I was in fact standing there like 'WTF? My agent just told me I have no chin and an oval head? Really? Oval? Oval face? That's me? Really? What does that even mean? And seriously, you couldn't think of another way to phrase that?' ... ' Cheerokee? I'm a f-ing Polish Irish blend!'
Thanks for the F-ing sex toy audition.
Signing off, Oval Face Kooky Girl
