One of the regular trainers who knows everything there is to know about everything and has been around since oh, I don't know, the ice age, was hanging out in the lobby talking or telling rather, a new client all about the magicalness of her methods. I was peacefully perched at the desk minding my own business counting the cash for all the bottles of water I just sold, when out of mid air, I was addressed.
"You know what you look like???" Said, said trainer with new client hovering over her.
Me "Um, I'm sorry, what?"
"DO you KNOW what you look like?" She repeated with force.
Me "Eh, no, no I don't know..." said with frightened hesitation.
"You look like an imp! .... Doesn't she look like an imp? I mean really, she really does..." She babbled on to the new client, whom was now tilting her head on the verge of agreement.
"Oh! Uh, an imp???" I interrupted.
"Yeah, an IMP! You know, like an imp, like an elf. Like you belong in a forest or something. You know what it is, its those eyes and ESPECIALLY those big EARS! I mean, look at how they just poke out!" She exclaimed.
New Client chiming in, "OH YEAH! Yeah, ...yeah... she DOES look like she could belong in a forest, an imp! I see it!".
Time out for a FLASHBACK: All my life I was made fun of for my ears as they were apparently on a different 'growth' chart than the rest of my body and well, protruded ever so slightly from my thin layer of poker straight hair (and were prone to pop out of hats). At one point I recall my ears being pulled at by loved ones (I won't name names, but you know who you are) and years later after I decided to bedazzle my lobes with earrings, I received the comment 'They are already big enough, you don't have to call attention to them!' by a neighborhood friend. Therefore, I didn't indulge in the infamous ponytail till I was in college (a fresh start) and even now and then find myself trying to tuck them away as the memories still haunt me.
Now back to your regularly schedule program.
"Huh, well uh, ok then, thanks, thanks I guess?!" I pleaded softly in an attempt to get them to move on to another topic.
To my luck they did, after of course, another minute of gawking at me, the mysterious creature that crawled out of the depths of the mystical forest and somehow landed a job in society. While I was a bit shocked and disturbed and wanted nothing else but to erase the conversation from my morning, curiosity got the best of me, just as it did that darn cat. So I turned to my trusty pal, Google search. I typed in 'IMP' and hit enter and waited anxiously for the results...while slowly stroking and pressing my ears against my head in an effort to get them to stay there...as all the 'DUMBO' memories came rushing back.
More horrifying than I could have imagined, this is the first image that popped up when searching the term 'Imp'.
"An imp is a mythological being similar to a fairy or demon, frequently described in folklore and superstition. The word may perhaps derive from the term ympe, used to denote a young grafted tree."
These are the second and third images that came up.
How lovely. If that doesn't make a gal feel good, then I don't know what does.
I later had my roommate do a search on her computer just to see if she got the same immediate imaging that I had, hoping that it was just a 'gliche in my system'. However due to the shrilling followed by breathless laughter that came from her room, I can tell you she did.
So, after finding my so-called 'twin' online I decided that I would take a photo of myself to compare. And while I know I don't look my best and I'm not trying to be, cocky, I must admit I just don't see it, but I'll leave that open for your judgement. Jeanine the Imp OR Jeanine the non-imp. You tell me. After all, one of the keys to success in this world, especially this industry, is knowing how and where you fit in and what your 'type' is.
One last thing. An hour after the above conversation or judgement as I like to think of it, took place my father arrived in town and we met up for lunch. He walked up to me, hugged me, then told me "You look pale and tired!".
Lesson learned, I should have stayed in bed last Sunday.
