Doing Your Part

The other day as I was leaving for work, I noticed a man picking up trash, fallen leafs, etc on the side of the street. (yes my street has trash on it) And I thought to myself, 'huh that's really nice, he's taking pride in his neighborhood and cleaning up!' After all he wasn't wearing an orange jumpsuit so this clearly was by choice and not court ordered.

Then I noticed the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. The ashes from the cigarette drifting softly still lit into his pile of dried up garbage waiting to spark a flame with the movement of any sudden breeze...and after the final drag, the butt flicked out to the middle of the street. And it was then I thought ' Really? I mean its not like California is known for its wildfires or discarding your cigarette butt in the middle of the road is considered littering or anything.'

Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else find this slightly ironic? No? Yes? Whatever.

Relationship Evaluation

Dear Hangover,

We've known each other for quite sometime now and while I haven't always agreed with you, I've always respected you. And while I feel our relationship has grown stronger over the years, as any good relationship should, I feel the need to express my emotions regarding your recent discrepancies.

Bottom line, this 'coming and going' needs to stop. I'm willing to wake up and have you follow me around all day, as I often know when indulging in a variety of my favorite adult beverages you will be arriving early the next day. However what I'm not prepared for, nor do I appreciate, is your late arrival. If you are going to show up, show up! Don't wait untill after I've been awake a few hours pleasantly going about my day, recalling all the fun I had the night before miraculously without your arrival to then slap me in face in the early afternoon. For at this point I've already made plans to go about my day without you tagging along. So when you show up at your leisure, hours late, it really ruins my day. I know you may think of it as a fun surprise however I think of it as dick move.

Can't we go back to the old days? Where I awoke to you spooning me and got to spend the rest of my day carefully avoiding loud noises, bright lights and my beverage of choice from the night before? At least back then I made reservations for two (with you in mind) the next day!

Please, I beg of you, arrive on time...or don't arrive at all.

Sincerely,

Jeanine