This Is Why

Yesterday I took it upon myself to go for a jog to a place I've deemed 'The Death Stairs.' Three hundred and ninety-two uneven steps made up of concrete unevenly placed into the side of a mountain. Sound awesome right? Not so much. They are killer, hence the name. (But yes I love them for after just one set you feel like you could bounce a quarter off your butt cheek). What a fun, painful way to get in a quick work out...and also, meet people...?

Now, I've never been a fan of the idea of 'meeting people at the gym' - why you ask? Well, I'll tell you why. For one - I don't go often enough to make my presence known, rather I just wander sheepishly through the gym searching for the machine that I want, then sit on it wondering how it works. Two - Upon wandering I always happen to stumble upon a mirror and realize that maybe I should have paid more attention to the outfit of a worn out oversized freebie t-shirt and mismatching shorts that fit better a year ago, for this is LA and all that surrounds me is matching spandex and made up faces. Therefore I don't even try to chat it up as I turn beet red and my hair takes the style of a 1950's greaser from my sweat. Hot image huh?

Right so it's for those reasons, among others, that I don't attempt to be the one making small talk and picking up numbers while working out, I'm there to work out people, not make out.

However, yesterday during my adventure to 'The Death Stairs' the winds of change were a blowin'! Without paying much attention I managed to dress myself in a semi appropriate pair of running tights topped off with a wind breaker that was only a shade or two off from matching. And I'll tell ya, I'm glad I did. For when I reached the peak of the stairs who met me there but a young fine speciman of a man. Delightful! We made eye contact and smiled, ahhhh ;). 'DAMN' I thought - this is what everyone is talking about! What a great place to meet someone! Then I turned for a stretch and by the time those 30secs passed, he was gone. Vanished.

Burn.

So I headed back down the stairs, saddend. Another missed opportunity....Or so I thought. For what did I see coming up 'The Death Stairs' in the distance...was it him? Did he dare to run 'The Death Stairs' twice?! He did! Ok, so this was my chance, a friendly hello to at least break the ice, a baby step if you will.

Climbing one by one he approached ....while one by one I descended...and just at that moment when our feet met the same stair and our eyes were about to catch...I lost my balance and rolled my ankle, looking like a fawn on its first journey to a green pasture. Immediately I had to shift all my energy to prevent from stumbling down the remaining 200 stairs and therefore missed my chance again to say hello! I like to think I felt his eyes look back in a moment of 'there she goes..." but in reality IF he did look back it was to see if I had caught myself or if I was tumbling down the concrete filled mountain side.

From that point on, with defeat sitting heavy on my shoulders, I continued to hide my hobble down the rest of the stairs, jog with a limp home and ice my ankle.

I'm happy to report that it feels quite okay today and (not too) ashamed to report that still I remain gameless and clumsy. This is reason number three of why I do not try and meet people at the gym, or ' The Death Stairs' or while working out in general. Because safety comes first people... and I lack health insurance...so really, love over a medical bill? You do the math.

And for those of you that haven't caught on yet - yes I'm still single.