Camouflaging Clumsy

Ever since birth I was, what 'they' call, a clumsy child. On most occasions, walking, not just running, lead to catastrophe. Whether it tripping over the side walk and scraping on my knees, over my two feet and allowing the scoring run to rush by or just blindly walking into a parking meter, I was always one small step away from wearing a helmet. Hell, I wasn't even safe at home, as I used to walk into our dinning room wall, which according to the four other family members that lived their, never moved (I still beg to differ). 

As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, my clumsiness didn't stop at tripping. It 'spilled' over into dropping fragile items...and have them shatter in my knee (therefore needing stitches), knocking over freshly poured bowls of cereal (the dog always loved that one) wasting my breakfast and of course ruining every light colored shirt that graced by boddess...especially the time I looked up to the sky while holding a (without a top) cup of coca-cola in my mouth (apparently my brain didn't process long enough to think of removing the cup I was biting onto before lifting my chin to chase the glimpse of a balloon) ...my white shirt quickly transformed into tan and I walked around the rest of the day sporting a sticky go tee. The bees loved it.

But that was years ago! Surely my childhood clumsiness would be outgrown by now...at the ripe age of 30. Sadly that's not the case. Just ask my former roommate why she started with a delightfully expensive set of 12 wine glasses and ended up with a mere 3 of them. (Apparently washing dishes also equals crushing dishes in my book.) Oops. And take a look at my hands on any given day and you'll be sure to find a random, scrap, cut, scratch, bump, bruise or burn upon them. Or sometimes even my face for that matter, as just last month I walked the earth with a black eye I gave myself while doing laundry. Impossible....one would think.

In a New Years resolution effort to mask my clumsiness, since clearly I can't control it, I have been focusing on properly caring for my injuries in attempt to hide and rapidly heal them (and to avoid too many 'what happen now?!).  So when I received a slice to my thumb while at work today (handing out samples of free food...not sure how that happen...the job or the cut...) I quickly removed myself from the scene and looked for a band-aid. Of course, as my luck would have it, the only band-aids available were 'camouflage' color; and not a 'skin tone camouflage' color, but rather 'I'm fighting a war in the middle of a damp jungle camouflage'. So to add insult to injury, I spent the rest of my shift providing information about how I sliced the side of my thumb open while opening a thin cardboard box of plastic gloves (safe for children ages 3+), rather than pulling focus to my the task at hand, the free food. Pretty sure my boss was pleased.

Needless to say, yes, I am still clumsy. However, in a effort to continue on my new positive thinking path (another New Years resolution), its nice to know some things never change. Ever.