Living the Dream (pt 2): It's All About The Ride

Well here I am again, on my own, going down the only road I've only known, with my trusty pal and partner in crime, Grandpa 'The Shark' Ford Taurus. Otherwise known as 'Ooh Grandpa....fine, ok I'll drive' to friends and family.

Why devote an entire blog post to one Ford Taurus? Simply because the importance of having a dependable, good looking, well running car in LA is just as important, if not more, than lying about your age and sleeping your way to the top...and well, I was at a lack of other things to talk about. Right, so moving on, my car.

As I previously stated, a car in LA is a life or death situation and I don't mean because of the horrid drivers that hog the road throwing all basic driving 'rules' out the window (Did you know turn signals are no longer a must?); but rather a life or death of 'social status.' I remember my first year out here, watching as BMWs' and Mercedes Benz lined the drive ways of run down one bedroom apartments. Clearly, what you're arriving in is much more important that what you're sleeping in (unless of course you're one of those die hard actors that deem sleeping in their car will give them that extra advantage since they have 'struggled and therefore will prevail'). 

Time after time I receive looks of disgust and unruly comments regarding my 'representation on wheels', I however, just never really gave a shit. Even when a former boss (or two) called me into their office to tell that 'maybe it was time I thought about upgrading my car' or when a friend gasped in shock when I replied 'No, I wouldn't buy a new car if I won the lottery'.  Judge me all you want but where I come from, if its runs, it works. And while it may not run as well as it used to, 'The Shark' is still holding strong-ish. Emphasis on the 'ish'.

Which brings me to exhibit A-C. As you can imagine the interior of your car is just as important as the exterior, for you never know who may be hoping in for a ride. And while I try to keep it so fresh and so clean on the inside (only because I'm good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me), it is slowly becoming harder and harder to do so. For certain parts of Grandpa 'The Shark' Ford Taurus, are breaking down...and while this gives snot nosed passengers even more leverage to suggest a new car purchase, I rebut with 'What ever happened to appreciating art? To an item being original? Having character?' ...because Grandpa has it all.

Exhibit A: The Pliers: The pliers play an important role in assisting the 'turning on and off' of the A/C, Vent, Heat, Defrost, for as you'll see in exhibit B, the knob is no longer present.



Exhibit B: The Knob: Or shall I say, the extremely sharp worn down to a point from over grabbing nub formerly know as the Knob. What once was an easy to reach and twist plastic knob has now turned into a MacGyver manoeuvring experience, with formerly mentioned pliers. Also note the 'Hi-Lo Knob' control has also been added to the 'character' list as someone thought they would improve my situation by replacing 'The Knob' with the 'Hi-Lo Knob'...they were wrong.

Exhibit C: The Tape Deck: Honestly, I just threw this one in for good measure, I mean who doesn't love a good old 'miss you mix' tape in midday traffic. Sooths my soul every time.


So folks, that's the tale of my ride. It's not pimped out nor is it considered special to anyone else but me, well maybe it is, but most likely in the 'short bus' special sense. But again, I don't give a rats ass, this 1996 family sedan has been all over the country with me and honestly between you and I, (I believe) gave me the edge on a production job when I held the task of driving an Executive to set and he was forced to talk to me when Grandpa blew hot dust on him after I MacGyvered the air on (unfortunately for him the passengers side window was also out of order at the time). Nothing strikes up a conversation about needed more work like a old car spewing its history at you. Ooh Grandpa.

Side note - To all of you that have had the PRIVELEDGE of riding in my one and only Grandpa 'The Shark' Ford Taurus, I would like to take this time to say, YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. I mean, in many ways he is my claim fame.